Remember November

The spirit of Halloween is back in its grave and our costumes were put away after a memorable night out in the city. The Cub Scout uniform and the Scooby Doo outfit can be found neatly tucked away in an orange bin with a black lid. Color-coded organization. That's how I roll with synesthesia. It's all about color.

The following day we found ourselves at Old Navy. My fiance was looking for new Fall clothes for work, while I found myself uninterested in searching for work-from-home digs. There is no need to impress the dog, the cat, and the UPS man with pressed khakis and a button-down shirt each day. While creating unique products for The Simple Laugh, it's important to remember: comfort promotes creativity! With that in mind, I browsed through cozy pants and other be-your-own-boss clothes, when all of a sudden "Feliz Navidad" came piping through the store's sound system. NO!! It seemed like yesterday that I was just watching the Shrek Halloween special on TV, "Scared Shrekless". I can still see Gingy shooting jelly beans out of his bottom cookie.

What about Thanksgiving? What about the Pilgrims, the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, and the turkey (or the "tofurky", in my vegan fiance's case)? What about Joey Tribbiani wearing Phoebe's maternity pants? What about the traditional Dallas Cowboys and Detroit Lions football games? With 2-7 records respectivley at this time, the turkey won't be the only thing suffering that day! And, what about Adam Sandler's "Thanksgiving Song"? Why isn't that song played in retail stores during the month of November?

Give us time to give thanks!

Now, I have to figure out what I'm wearing to the "Trans-Siberian Orchestra Winter Tour" performance in two days...while the first day of winter isn't for 38 more days. I might need to go back to Old Navy. In the words of Dr. Jack Shephard from "LOST"..."We have to go back! We have to go back!"

I guess I'd better prepare myself for more holiday jingles. Feliz Navidad.

Summer is Here!

The official first day of summer is ten days away, but summer has definitely arrived early. How do I know this? Is it because it's already incredibly humid and in the nineties here in Virginia? Nope. Is it because an unusual amount of straight folks have outnumbered gay women at Home Depot? I think not. Is it because I sneak a whiff of barbecued meat from surrounding grills when my vegan fiancé isn't looking? Perhaps, but still no. I know that summer is ahead of schedule because our 4-year old tabby cat, Peanut, has been on the hunt leaving destruction (a.k.a. dead things) in her path.

One morning last week, I looked out of our kitchen window at the tree service team who was removing a dead, fallen tree from our property. All of a sudden, a magnificent blue bird flew by the window and landed on the backyard deck. Foreshadow. While the men continued working, I decided to get the mail. I walked to the foyer, but when I tried to open the storm door, it wouldn't open all the way. Why? Because there was a decapitated robin stuck under the door on my Pittsburgh Steelers door mat. Super. I finally managed to squeeze through the door (with a plastic bag for disposal), and found one of my trail running shoes on the edge of the front porch. I thought this was odd since I usually leave my muddy running shoes neatly tucked under the porch bench so they don't get wet in case it rains. When I picked up my shoe to put it back in its proper place, I found a dead mole in my shoe! I know the tree guys heard me scream despite their noise reduction headphones and the piercing sound of their chainsaws. I disposed of the mole in the same bag, and as I placed my shoe under the bench, I noticed a half-eaten lizard. Are you kidding me? Headless birds and hindless lizards. WHY, Peanut? One more for the bag.

When the timber men finally cleared the area, I went to check on their work. I opened the back door, stepped down onto the backyard deck, and CRUNCH! Shocked nonetheless and before I looked down, I immediately thought to myself, "Please be a stick or a huge leaf or a box of Cereal...ANYTHING! But not a...DAMN IT! I looked down and realized that I landed right on dead mole. If anything, I found solace in the fact that I was not the original killer. The men heard me exclaim once again and halted their equipment. I walked through the back yard to where the men were working, and on my return to the house, I discovered the magnificent blue bird...without a head. Sigh. Where's my bag?

Thank you, Peanut, for a day filled with "gifts" for me as an expression of your love.

I don't know who loves living in the country more - Me or Peanut? Never mind. I'm the one holding the bag.

Now, back to creating new T-shirt designs for "The Simple Laugh". If I can only get these dead things out of my head.